Why are the parent’s needs a priority?
In the topic of “Parenting Self-Care,” the big question is “Why should I put myself first?“. Without a doubt, the parenting role is one of the most difficult social roles in life. It is bound up with constantly responding to needs – those of your partner, those of your child and your own. It’s not hard to get lost in these relationships and self-care can start to seem, more like an obligation than a positive attitude towards yourself. A personal attitude towards an issue is the strongest motivator, so today we bring you an answer to the question “Why is it important to put your needs first?“. Here are just a few of the reasons:
- Makes you a better parent – When you feel satisfied, you can handle everyday situations more effectively and with more attention. This includes how you treat your children.
- Relieves you from unnecessary guilt – Understanding why your own needs are important gives you the ability to have a clearer view of what your child really needs and where the line is between wants and needs. You can set boundaries without feeling guilty.
- Understand your child better – If you don’t know how to talk through your own needs, you would have a hard time with your child’s.
- You model self-care in your child – Children learn from you. A parent who knows how to take complete care of themselves raises children who can accomplish the same.
It is also worth noticing that many parents treat self-care as a synonym of self-indulgence. The difference between the two terms, essentially, is the outcome. Self-care habits, like eating balanced meals or exercising regularly, help you stay healthy and at the top of our game. Self-indulgent habits, like binge watching TV or avoiding important responsibilities, tend to be short-term fixes rather than real solutions to health needs.
Parents often focus so much on their children that they have no time for themselves.Sometimes, it might be hard to carve in time for something as simple as getting dressed—let alone anything that improves social or professional health. But when you take time to care for yourself every day, you’re looking out for your loved ones just as much as you are caring for yourself.
Remember that your needs are important and that you deserve to get some of them met, even while you are primarily focused on taking care of other people. Your children will be better off if they have a parent who models self-care and who has the energy to care for them. And you will be more likely to experience the joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment that parenting can bring you.
Author: Venera Simeonova
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Self-care in parenting
One of the important tasks facing every parent is to teach their child how to be an independent adult. Independence is that quality that helps people recognize and meet their own needs.
Children learn patterns of behavior first through their parents. The first step to a child’s independence is for them to see their parents satisfied.
The idea that children’s needs come first is, to some extent, contrary to parental self-care. A parent satisfying the child’s needs first often faces chronic exhaustion, stress, and burnout; in such a state, the parent stops being fulfilling. In this sense, children need a parent who takes care of themselves.
Basic parental needs are arranged in a hierarchy in which you cannot skip over a need.
1. Physical needs – Food, water, enough sleep. Physical stressors are strong enough stimuli that cannot be ignored and can interfere with your well-being.
2. Intellectual needs – Parenting duties can take you out of your usual interests briefly, but boredom and monotony are a quick step toward burnout.
3. Social contact – Isolation is invariably associated with chronic stress and tiredness. To cope with them a parent needs socializing.
4. Emotional needs – The final step to self-care is to find understanding, love, and feel valued.
Author: Venera Simeonova
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6 useful tips for teaching emotional intelligence in children
Developing emotional intelligence enables us to manage emotions effectively and avoid being derailed, for example, by a flash of anger. Children with higher emotional intelligence are better able to pay attention, are more engaged in school, have more positive relationships, and are more empathic. Today we present 6 useful tips on how to develop emotional intelligence in your child.
1.Label your feelings:
Children need to know how to recognize their emotions. You might help them by labeling your own emotions. Using sentences like “I feel angry because I missed the bus” or “I am happy now because you hugged me” can help your child build the needed vocabulary to express their self.
2.Validate the child’s feelings
Sometimes when our children are upset it can be tempting to minimize how they’re feeling. For example, if your child is crying desperately for a 3rd chocolate egg. Using a dismissive comment in situation like this will only teach the child that their emotions are wrong. A good approach would be to validate their feelings and show empathy.
3. Create a routine:
Speech is too abstract for children, but they understand nonverbal communication better than we do. Try to be honest with them so that there is no disharmony between what you say and what they see. Respond to their feelings in the same way to prevent confusion. It is less likely for a child to be confused about their emotions if the know what to expect in their everyday life.
4. Set boundaries:
Setting boundaries helps children recognize the socially acceptable behaviors. Children’s greatest reinforcer is their parents’ attention. Give big emotional responses to appropriate behaviors. Talk about your feelings with your child and help them do the same.
5.Encourage independence:
It is tempting to put on the child’s shoes when we are in a hurry or to hold his hand while climbing the slide. Independence is a key factor in developing self-motivation. Encourage the child to do everything on their own, even if it takes time and seems like a very difficult task for him.
6.Develop problem-solving skills:
Part of building emotional intelligence is the ability to deal with problems. Encourage your child to try dealing with conflict situations on their own by helping them identify 5 possible ways of solving the problem. Then help them choose the most appropriate solution. The ideas don’t have to be great, the process of looking for a solution is important.
„We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel..“
Author: Venera Simeonova
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